I like food, the other day I tried an oyster for the first time with my mate Tom. We had one each which came to £4.70, I gave the waitress a £5 note and said cheers don't worry about change. "Oh thanks, big spender!" came her response in a sarcastic tone. Maybe I should have informed her that I was a 27 year old unemployed man that lives with his parents, and even the fact I was wasting my money on her shells full of grim sea slop was a fucking miracle. I could have got a pint and some peanuts for that, or 4.7 Iceland Kebab pizzas (see above). Besides that oysters are pretty rank, maybe she expected more money for the advise she gave me to add a squeeze of lemon and chew it three times then swallow. Without that I may have stuck the lemon slice up my nose thrown the oyster over my shoulder and tried to forcibly insert the shell into my japs eye. Thanks.
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